Tails from the Bark Side

I am privileged to be part of a really great 'scene' in which, while I've heard talk of such diva behaviour and much drama, I have experienced no such bollocks first-hand. However, I feel the need to post about something about courtesy and sexism in the music industry. I have complained of it for years, just to mates, and while I've got a Facebook and the opportunity of free speech, I thought I'd write it all down. The train of thought started this weekend when I was drinking with some great, lovely, fun, gracious, courteous people in a pub in Islington; we were doing the whole, 'after you, no after you' thing when going through a small entrance thingy, and I can't remember what I said but I indicated my dislike of the idea of 'ladies first'... There was then some banter about 'smashing the patriarchy'; exaggerating for comic effect of course, all in good spirits. Any well-brought-up child will know that we should hold doors open for each other and help when somebody is struggling with something heavy - these things are basic, common courtesy and nothing to do with gender, and very welcome. Anyone female-shaped who legit has a go at a male-shaped person, in the name of feminism, for holding a door open, is a twat. Unless they say something like 'ladies first', in which case feel free, like me, to debate the use of the term 'lady'.

HOWEVER, there are many things I have experienced as a female-shaped artist in the music industry that are not courteous, not gentlemanly, and downright rude - and no amount of heavy lifting and door opening can make this right. Some have occurred during my time as a musician on the lovely 'goff' (industrial/EBM/synthpop) scene, but not many - mostly these incidents have happened when I've been in rock bands on the pub circuit. Feel free to share, disagree, whatever you like - I'm hoping to open a few eyes and minds with this, not make people uncomfortable and like they're 'walking through a minefield', which is something that always gets said when someone questions 'etiquette'. Of course, everybody is different and there's no set rules and I'm not speaking for all female-shapes. But this is a list of the experiences that I feel have happened because there is a lot of assumption due to how I present as female, and some notes on how I feel about them.

- Many times when I've been sitting at a soundcheck, sometimes sitting among gear or setting up, guys have come in and greeted all other band members, and completely blanked me. I may have my hair tied back, glasses on, no make-up, etc. Later on, when I'm done up in my stage clobber, people have apologised for not talking to me because they hadn't known who I was earlier. I get the feeling it's because it's assumed I am a wife/girlfriend, a fan who's blagged her way in early, or a member of venue staff. In either case - it's pretty appalling that I get blanked, musician or not. If I'm not a musician I'm going to be there to assist or support you, so I deserve the same welcome you give your bros in bands!

- On that assumption, I've had people ask me how I got in, I've had people ask me for a beer, I've had people ask me who I'm driving for. 'Whose girlfriend are you, then?' is never a polite question in ANY walk of life - I'm a person, not a relationship status. If you don't know who I am just ask me which band I'm with; it's pretty damn easy.

- I've been refused entry to backstage areas and dressing rooms, even on presentation of my 'artist' wristband. They tugged it to check I hadn't nicked it.

- I was told to mind my language when I swore (mildly) at my laptop at a soundcheck.

- Sound engineers ask male bandmates how I want my vocals to sound. I'm standing right there.

- Please never tell a female-shaped musician that she's a 'great gimmick', that she is something other than the 'brains of the operation', and for god's sake 'you're more than a pretty face' is never - in any context - a compliment.

- Was given free entry to a show so long as I helped the band ship out afterwards. Awesome. Myself and three guys stood waiting for instructions. Tour manager says, 'I thought you said you'd bring four people.' I'm standing right there.

- Was denied a show because 'there's already a female-fronted band on the bill'.

- Been told quite a few times actually, 'This is boring production/music/guitar/artwork talk, sorry about this.' You do realise I stand behind the laptop and synths in an electronic band, right? What in the entire OMNIVERSE makes you think I would find any talk of electronic production 'boring'?! Oh right! Perceived vagina.

So yeah, that about sums it up. Then there's just the whole 'oops, ladies present' vibe that sometimes pops up when bands are hanging out before shows - unless you were born in 1930, it's redundant. You can be yourself. I want to be here, I'm playing music with you, I'm buying rounds of beer. I'm one of you. Don't assume that this female-shaped body has delicate ears. Hell I don't even identify as female, but I'd have a tough time asking people not to assume that.

In summary: Assume less.

Oh, while I'm asking for things - please be aware when you're in a shared dressing room with 4 other bands, and STOP HOGGING THE MIRROR. Ta!

(Hey this comes quite nicely after Dave's 'don't marginalize people's causes' post. Dreams Divide - social justice warriors!)

MOVED TO SOUTHAMPTON
DIDZ IS HERE


"Hi Southampton. Anna is a bad-ass! Keep thinking about beautiful Salisbury house sitting all beautiful and empty and cold and dark and alone. Loads of tears today and now"

"love dat southampton city accent
'ummagord, ee's lark a BEAR! uh-thaaay Noofunliiiinds?'"

"Just sed bye to the puppy doogs and am now at the newfie doogs house for the weekend yay noofoondloonds"

"just mopped myself into the lounge and my phone's in the car, how annoying"

"Woo week of shite is over! Woo discharged from the voice lady's clinic! Verdict: its reflux so stop being a fat knacker. She said 'your laughter has such a great tone. I bet your voice is lovely.' Which was nice. Then she gave me the number of the singing coach who does The Voice on telly or summink"

"The voice thingy on the nexus 4 is bloody marvelous I'm using it now lal lol lol it even understand lol lol lol lol lal lal lala lau haha benson get off me no no no you don't climb you naughty boy"

"what I need is two weeks of no cleaning wotsoever so I can establish whether the burning pain in my hips and lower back are just cleaning pains and not arthritis, fibromyalgia, osteonecrosis, cancer of the bone or aliens gestating in my pelvis"

"bailey and sidney
and their new puppy who is ADORABLE
the clumber spaniel called rupert i posted a pic of, i keep forgetting his name tho so it's just 'puppy'
or 'benedict clumberbatch'"

"puppy is killing a runner bean"

"PREPARING OVEN FRIES (i.e. laying them on a tray)
OUT OF NOWHERE, CAT LANDS ON OVEN FRIES"

"And I'm heading into go outdoors for my yearly winter splurge. After this I really MUST STOP SHOPPING. Moving to cheaper gaff was meant to be to pay for tax, not shoes and trees"

"Tell me that I'm didz
take me to the didz
spin my body didz
Heard it all bedidz
what have I bedidz
who are didz"



WATCH THE VIDEO WATCH THE VIDEO WATCH THE VIDEO IT IS ~*~*~*~*~*MY BAND~*~*~*~*~*~*~* SO WHEN I SHARE IT AGAIN WHEN THE EXCITEMENT DIES DOWN A LITTLE BIT IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS TIME AND SOMEONE SAYS,
***OH, IS THIS YOUR BAND GEM***
LET ME PRE-EMPT THAT NOW BY SAYING YES IT'S MYYYYYYYY BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND SO WATCH IT WATCH IT NOW RIGHT NOW
OH SHIT I LOVE HOW IT SAYS 'CRAP' IN THE URL I AM LOLLING SO HARD

Just got back from playing the most amazing gig at the most amazing venue.. the Moritzbastei! We were brilliant if I do say so myself. It took us a long ol' time to get there; we stayed in Cologne for a night on the way, then went back for two more nights and travelled back today. Awesome banter, lots of sunshine, fantastic cities... Amazing. I came back to an oven house! It's so hot upstairs! And I left my compost bag in the kitchen... ew.

I seem to have forgotten how to write proper. Haha.

I'm busy as heck. Loads of work, but no money. I was panicking for the last month or so because I couldn't get any money together for the rent! I am looking at my diary now and it's giving me a sadface. I want to go on tooour for a looong time. Stupid day job. Damnit.

Day 05: Your favourite book this year.
I assume it's the best book I've read this year rather than the best book released this year? I really enjoyed The Book Thief and Everything is Illuminated.

Day 06: Your favourite food this year.
It's all about cheese scones from the Tea House in Lyndhurst. And pancakes.

Day 07: Your week, in great detail.
Starting from last Wednesday? Ummm. Woke up, got out of bed, did I have a shower? Nope, I was lazy. I lazed around my (brilliant, gorgeous) house until 1pm, looking for Christmas presents and stuff online. I might've read some stories, can't really remember. I went out at about 1pm, drove to Southampton, cleaned a house, walked Holly and Lucy the labs, cleaned Zoe's house in Botley, did loads of ballet, drove home... or did I go to the pub? I think I went to the pub for some wine? I really can't remember. Thursday - much the same, cleaning in Wilton and Amesbury, Sarah and Dave's and the Winny. I went home and put my rubbish out, then Steve came round... I think we went to Sainsbury's. Rock and roll. On Friday I popped into Mum's office and blagged a new mop, then cleaned Murphy's house and went to meet Tam who was having trouble convincing Alfie that she was a nice doggy walkerer. He was terrified when she turned up to walk him, so I had to go and help! The big wuss. I think we got there in the end, 'cause after a while he let her stroke him and took treats from her, but I don't think he'll go for a walk with her just yet. What a numpty! Then I went home, and went mad with Christmas gubbins again; ordering presents, planning food for my gathering, etc. Oh and I braided my hair.

Saturday - I lazed around... honestly I can't think of anything I actually do in these 'lazing around' sessions. It's like a void of time-suck. I just internet and read, really! Actually I totally went to the market with my hair still in braids. I bought bananas and grapes. Oh I did some laundry! Lots of laundry. But it kept raining so I had to keep bringing it in. Then I spent ages doing awesome make-up for the gig that night in Southampton. Then at 4:30 I went to the gig, played the gig, drove home from the gig, had a couple of beers at Dave's, walked home, bed. On Sunday I made Christmas cards. On Monday I went to the post office and registered with a local doctor. I bought a massive bag of spuds and some yoghurt for Didz (his tummy is bad!) Then I came home, had a snooze, lazed around. Tuesday I got up, went to Southampton, cleaned a Millbrook house, walked Holly, Lucy and Murphy in the park where we met lots of new friends, cleaned Anna's house, cleaned Dan's house and cleaned Nina's house (and did her ironing). I went to watch the last week of term at dancing, and that was lovely. Then I came home, via the chippy, and watched Eastenders and Hollyoaks while eating donuts.

Today I worked my bum off with two huge deep cleans, Zoe's house in Botley, and a walk with Holly and Lucy. THAT'S IT.

A Swedish review! Lolz, they called me 'Gen'. I prefer the N! We're playing Camden Underworld tomorrow afternoon. Haha. Afternoon.

So, I'm officially moving on the 29th October! To this place:



eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

First gig was Saturday night! We kicked ARSE. I decided to rename and use my Tumblr to keep all the vids and reviews and photos and stuff together. So here you go!



Fuck Yeah Dreams Divide

Aren't chocolate digestives just SO NICE? It's not even funny anymore. I am so damn happy you guise.

Oh here's a meme.

A - Age: 29.
B - Bed size: Double.
C - Chore you hate: Getting pesky limescale off of shower doors.
D - Don't eat: Mean-ass cheap supermarket meat.
E - Essential start-your-day item: Facebook.
F - Favourite board game: Skull & Crossbones.
G - Gold or Silver: Silver.
H - Height: 5'6.5".
I - Instruments you play: Pianos and synfs. I played bass in one band, but I dunno how on earth I blagged that. I can also play a few awkward guitar chords, and I played the violin and recorder at school but I have no idea how much I remember of those. Mostly I just sing!
J - Job title: Mop Wielding Canine Fitness Consultant at Mutts & Mops.
K - Kid(s): In my life? My 'god'daughter Ellie and my nieces Dhana (I'm also her 'god'mother) and baby Stevie. <3
L - Love or lust: Love.
M - Mum's name: Karen.
N - Nicknames: Gemsy Gem Gem-Gems...
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Eyeball fail aged 4, asthma fail aged 5 or 6.
P - Pants or pantyhose: This means trousers or tights, right? Trousers.
Q - Favourite Movie Quote: "What, like the back of a Volkswagen?"
R - Right or left handed: Righty.
S - Siblings: Sister Nik, 16 months younger than me, bro Leeps, 6 years younger.
T - Time you wake up: When I feel like it. :D The beauty of being self-employed!
U - Underwear: Boring.
V - Vegetable favorite: BROCCOLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII FOREVER.
W - Ways you run late: What.
X - X-rays you've had: Teef & chest. And I had two ultrasounds. Funs.
Y - Yummy food you make: Potato and lentil curry, nom nom nom.
Z - Zoo favorite: I prefer theme parks tbh.

MY SONG IS DONE
DREAMS DIVIDE'S FIRST SONG
THE SONG I GAVE TO DAVE AND SAID, HERE YOU ARE DAVE LET US USE MY CHORDS
THE CHORDS I'VE BEEN PLAYING WITH FOR 10 YEARS
MY CHORDS
MY SONG
MY FIRST EVER COMPLETELY FINISHED SONG
I have been playing these chords FORFUCKINGEVER wanting to make them into a song. AND IT IS DONE AND IT SOUNDS AMAZING AND I WILL HAVE JOY FOREVER AND I WANT TO CRY BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE I'M ON STUPID SERTRALINE

Sorry, I'm being totally annoying.

Have some songs. :D

WHEN I SING 'FALLS' I SOUND LIKE A FUCKING SEXY BAMF EVEN IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF

MySpace.

YAY. (Song previews, heehee)

Geoff and Karen. Dad's from Middlesbrough, Mum's family are from round 'ere mush. Forest folk. Dad is very laid back and a lot like me, happy to be happy. He loves fishing, walking his dog Meg in the Forest, camping, outdoorsy stuff. The beach. Surfing and kayaking. He's arty, and makes stuff out of driftwood and loves rock 'n' roll. Led Zep and Rainbow and stuff. For his 50th birthday last year we had a big festival. He was a total rocker with long hair when Mum met him. My nan says he was a lazy bugger back in the day. Not now though! He works too hard; shift work in a chemical plant. So he knows a bit about chemistry. My dad knows a lot of facts and taught me loads of stuff when I was a kid. Still does actually. I think I look like my dad. My mum & dad split up when I was 15. He met Katy down the pub and has been with her for... haha I dunno. Over ten years. She's only four years older than me but that's never been a problem. We have a lovely relationship and always have, even though it must have been so daunting for her, taking on us lot. Haha. Love Katoir.


Daddy & Katy

Mum's a bit more outgoing than Dad. She's loud, chatty... a bit harsh sometimes, haha. She has the loudest laugh in the world. Cackle! She is so funny to go drinking with. She gets frustrated with me I think. I over-think everything, and am self-consciousness. She's the epitome of extrovert, haha. She's pretty (my friends used to call her a MILF), blonde and awesome. She always taught me to be loud and proud and be myself and just punch anyone who upsets me in the damn face. She doesn't see the point in being miserable about anything, or dwelling on stuff that happened in the past. She has a distinctive Mum Smell. I think it's Chanel No. 5? Mum is fifty just after I turn thirty, so next year. She started her career as a cleaner when us kids were small and she's a director of the company now. She's been going out with Paul for ten years today! Paul is hilarious and lovely. Especially when drunk. She did go out with some knobbers so it took me a while to get used to Paul, but I grew to love him like another dad.


Mummy & Paul

( moar meame lawl )

A nice day. Epic Forest walkies, then more car troubles, so I hung out in the garage for a while and blagged some home made honey from my auntie Chris, for the WIN. Visited my nan and grandad, blagged a sunflower head in a vase (?) some apple crumble and a Dime bar. Sorted. Left an anniversary Nice Present of designer chocolates and a card in Mum & Paul's porch, made a sugar-free failcake and... heard the first mix of one of our album tracks. SHIZZAM. It's so awesome. Cannot wait to share it with the world!

I am SO. BORED.