Tails from the Bark Side

14. What your life was like ten years ago
Um... Ermergerd I was thinking I'd be writing about school and college here but I'd actually already left ten years ago! Okay, now I feel old. Right, exactly ten years ago I'd have been working at GSF for a few months, and enjoying having a full-time job and being a grown up... Looking at my diary entries from then haha - I still lived at home, didn't drive, smoked '68million' fags, driving around the Forest with Steve a lot, going to town to spend my wages, going to London for awesome gigs... I was obsessed with Tool, and metal, and Muse (that year they played Reading, I went with Timur and Kev, and it's always the first thing I think of when I think '2002'!)... I stayed up till the early hours on the internet, made websites, we still had our old band Symbiosis and we did some gigs, then we did Brother Earth later that year (our epic metal band in which I sang and played bass)... We went to the Dungeon, Nexus and the Bosun's Locker a lot and played pool and spent more money on the juke box than on booze... that was a great pub. We played a lot of war games in the Forest. That was hilarious.

15. How much alcohol you drink
I can definitely take it or leave it. I've never been one to say 'I fancy a beer' or have booze in the fridge at home... for me drinking is just part of going out and being sociable, but I can go out and be sociable without the booze. I'm one of those annoying people who stands at the front of the queue at the bar and goes, 'Oh yeah, booze. Now what shall I have...?' I can totally get going when the mood takes me though, haha. I do like being drunk. I don't seem to need to drink that much to get drunk these days... So... the question! I... probably have about 4-5 pints of beer in one binge. I've been having shots lately though because of The Diet. 6 rum & diet cokes should be enough.

16. Your worst illness
Ummm... Probably the asthma, I got hospitalised for it once when I was really young, and went to A&E with it a couple of times as a teenager and once or twice as a grown-up. I've always just had 'ailments' as opposed to serious illnesses. I've had the usual bugs and viruses, and could list a few occasions where I've felt like proper death, but nothing really bad.

17. What you do at work
Drive, mostly. Pick up dogs, clean houses, clean pubs, bash my elbows on sharp corners, stub my toes on Hoovers, hang out with dogs, take dogs home, queue up at the bank, panic about money, might go and help out with some ballet teaching... Tomorrow, though, I'm doing a day at GSF where I used to work. Haha. Oh and gigs with the band, that's kind of work. So yeah, all sorts o' stuff.

18. A question or comment people should never make to you
I'm not easily offended, but I will take it personally and get angry if anyone makes any comment slagging off someone for having wonky eyes. Calling someone ugly for any reason, really, can make me get a bit uppity. And they can't backtrack out of it by then saying, 'I'm allowed to slag her off because she's a bitch.' No. Carry on digging that hole. Actually, if I'm 'on one', any random comment that shows they don't think genders are equal, or that they believe you're more valuable than someone else because of their background, education or job or are a supporter of any form of discrimination at all really... I can get pissed off, but you know... I like to think people can talk freely to me... Haha. I've had debates with mates over things in the pub but I don't really get angry in real life. People I talk to on the internet probably know that I can get pretty angry from my occasional massive ranty essays!

19. The style of clothing you feel most comfortable in
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Nah, anything goes really, as long as I don't have my butt on display. Or the tops of the backs of my legs, so no short shorts or dresses with bare legs. I'd be thinking about it the whole time. Leggings have to have a dress over them. I used to have this thing where I've had to have something covering my arse if it was tightly clad in any way. Pencil skirts were out of the question - they had to be flowy/sticky-outy. In jeans or trousers I had to have a skirt on top or a jumper round my waist. And I could never wear tight tops. Couldn't show off my womanly shape, oh no! Now I'm perfectly comfortable in more figure-hugging things, but I'm favouring longer tops at the moment because I've got junk in the trunk. I don't suit girly clothes; dainty dresses and pretty sandals and stuff aren't really me. If I do buy something that's really pretty and girly, which I sometimes do if there's something I just like for no reason, I have to balance it with super UBERMETALHAMMERGEIL! Like, I'll wear a cutesy blouse with cats and flowers and candyfloss and rainbows on it, with massive baggy combats and army boots. I have quite broad shoulders and good legs (when I'm in shape), so I think my actual ideal 'style' is tight jeans, long boots and long floaty shirts. OH YEAH. Can't wait to shift this weight and go SHOPPING. Size 8 shopping... *daydreams*

Damnit, I've been asleep all evening and am now wide awake. Today I went on a boat! It was my auntie Trudie's boyfriend's birthday, and they're moving away for a while, so they had this big ol' boat trip that went from Ocean Village up the Beaulieu river and back. Quite nice, had a ploughman's and a cream tea, and it was 30 degrees out today, so. And it brought back a lot of memories of driving Dad's boat up the river and waving at the yachties while badmouthing them under our breath... Absolutely splendid day for it, old bean.

An extremely friendly-sounding Scottish fella called me today - Dave's ex-landlord. He wants me to scrub the communal areas of three houses once or twice a month. As and when I'm needed really. Brilliant! Gemsy the Cleaner is going places. I'm off to the Open University if they'll let me in. I'm very excited :)

However, I'm also a bit glum - I should be in Reading right now. I decided to give the Festival a miss for the first time in eight years - purely because of the terrible line-up. Grumble grumble, damn Chilly Gorillas, grumble. To make up for it, I'm planning some other plans. London bus tickets! Teignmouth campsites! London hostels! Planning all the plans! I do wish people would pay me though. I'm overdrawn and owed about £200.

Just got back from the Indian restaurant. Nikki and Lee and Mum and all the other Westbrooks were there, they’d surprised me with flowers and stuff for my birthday!

I’ll tell you about Reading. Fuck me, Jane’s Addiction. Muse were good. Wow. That’s all you need to know really. ^_^ Hair is now blue/black. I decided faded pink would not be a good colour for the office.

I have just got back from Reading and it was wicked! I saw lots of bands. I have now seen 38 different bands since my first gig 3 years ago (1997). I’m so gonna go every year!

I only really went ‘cause everyone else was going and I really wanted to see Muse. We were reasonably lucky really because we managed to get tickets, where people were buying theirs a few days afterwards and being informed they were all sold out. I left it to the last minute before I packed, and almost forgot things in the process! Luckily I didn’t forget anything major and we left on the Thursday morning at 9:30am. After loading everything into Steve’s car, me, Jeannie, Steve, Lucy and Tim set off to meet Danni, Pete, Andy and Dave at the first services station. We headed off to Reading, following Pete and Danni closely because we didn’t know where the hell we were going. Everyone else had been twice at least before today, except for Dave, Jeannie and me, although I had been to a different festival before (V99). Upon arriving (it took us nearly 2 hours just to get in the damn car park) setting up camp was easy as we’d got there seemingly early and space was more-or-less unlimited. The only thing that pissed me off a bit was the ridiculous amounts of thistle we had upon which cleverly placed our tents. I, being the prize twat that I am, didn’t bring any tent pegs, but a loan from Steve had it covered. It was REALLY hot and dry, and we had all this work to do, but we did it.

That evening we busted down to a club night set up by the festival organisers outside the grounds. It wasn’t bad, but we weren’t really in the mood for dancing so we left early and tried out the fair. Only one ride was left open; one of those standing up type things that spin and make your baps wobble. After this, and after shouting, “STAR TURN!” a hell of a lot, we returned to the campsite to find everyone in bed. Boring cunts! So we just went to bed too. For God’s sake.
Friday we woke to blazing sunshine again, it was ridiculously hot today, and Jeannie and I spent the morning playing cards and drinking water, not alcohol. We only saw Limp Bizkit during the day, despite my protests to stay in the arena for longer. But it was just too damn hot and all the other bands were shite anyway. We sat around and got some food on the go at the tents, and I wanted to see Muse that night so Dave and I went to see them early and caught Shed Seven in the Radio 1 tent as well. The band were brilliant, great atmosphere, especially the shouts of “FUCK OFF, OASIS!” whenever Muse finished a song and said offending band could be heard again from the Main Stage. Absolute wickedness.

I couldn’t believe it; when we got back to the tents again everyone was in bed! Bloody hell! Saturday was wicked, we began by watching JJ72 on the Radio 1 stage. I dragged Jeannie and Steve with me, ‘cause everyone else went to see Gorky’s (which was harsh, ‘cause I wanted to see Gorky’s too). JJ72 were excellent though, and Steve asked me to do him a tape of their songs when we got back. This morning we had woken up with leaking tentage. (Dave and I were sharing). We had no warning of rain at all, and it chucked it down all day, and it was stupid. We all walked around wearing these condom-like waterproofs. But that’s the fun of festivals… the mud ruled! Mud rules!
Anyway, after JJ72 we went over and caught nearly all of Idlewild’s set, which was good, followed by Deftones and SFA, and then Gomez, who were all wicked. We went back to the tents after that and joined our neighbours round their fire that evening. SFA bought the sun back out this evening!
Some bunch of lairy Oasis fans plonked their tent right in the middle of our circle. Cunts. So as our neighbour put it, we had doorsteps rather than a garden. Next year I think tape is called for. We need a fence. Or we could build a huge fire on the first day, so that no-one would wanna camp in the black stuff. ^_^

Sunday was the best day. I got up to see the Crocketts who were completely amazing as usual. We also saw A, Daphne and Celeste (you should have heard the booing and seen the bottles flying!) Blink-182, Rage (!), Slipknot, Placebo and Stereophonics. All were great apart from Placebo and Blink-182, who sounded a bit shite. We went for cookies and coffee when they were playing. Only me and Steve watched the Stereophonics, because no-one else likes them. We had a great view! Afterwards back at the tent we were amazed to find that everyone was still up, but it was only because they were worried about one of the group who’d set his tent and himself on fire. He was okay though, just a little burn I think. We stayed up and joined in the shouty stuff. But then Steve showed me a convenient bush I could use as a weeing facility, (the toilets were best avoided as it was the last night and they were all being knocked over and such like) and when we got back all the buggers were in bed again! We weren’t about to sit there while we were in such a good mood, so we went down to the arena where there were riots, all going mental, and there was a huge fire and a massive crowd. There were loads of fire-engines coming so we went to investigate and came across a crowd who’d turned the big rubbish bins over and were playing them like bongos or Stomp or something. Heehee. Crazy dancing ensued. Went to bed in the early hours, and then Dave woke me up at 7am on Monday morning so we could be packed up and going by 9am. It worked, and we were home in no time. One of my goldfish was missing when I got home.
It was a fucking excellent weekend, if you enjoy stomping in mud, getting drenched and eating burgers and chicken for three English pounds at a time. I’m just sorry I had to come home. Goddamn work tomorrow.

Best Bands: Muse, Stereophonics, RAGE!, and Slipknot