Hello Eljay

Feb. 2nd, 2013 03:22 pm
gemsybobsy: (walkies)
I'm going to try and post in here at least twice a week from now on! I've kept this diary since I was 11, and I love reading back and remembering the silly things that happened to me. I don't know why I stopped really. Busy, definitely. Maybe it's because I'm working all the time and think people don't want to read about hoovering and dogs. And I seem to put all my silly comments on Facebook these days instead of here. I can't see myself looking back nostalgically through Facebook when I'm fifty though, so I need to stop it. I'll try and save up those little thoughts and put them in here instead of spamming the hell out of the more instantly-available social networks. I miss that Twitter feed I used to have on here! I think it broke. :(

Anyway, WHAT'S BEEN ON THEN mush? Well, January sucked, as Januarys are wont to do. I lost my voice over Christmas and I seem to have an ongoing throat problem, similar to the thing I had back in 2008 when I got the camera down my nose... vocal fatigue, chronic laryngitis... not really sure. Not allowed to sing at all until our next gig in March, which is really, really hard. I didn't realise how much I normally sing until I couldn't do it anymore!

Still trying to lose weight. Shenanigans. Basically, what it is - I had those chronic migraines that started a year ago, and have been taking pizotifen, a drug that is known for causing weight gain. It really did bloody well cause weight gain. But y'know, I thought as long as the migraines are gone, I'll worry about the weight later. So I didn't keep too much of an eye on what I was eating, and as a result I have put on 20lbs over the last year, which is SO annoying because 20lbs ago I wanted to lose 20lbs. Argh. So now I have to lose 40lbs. So far 10 of them have been obliterated, as I've been back on the low carb/no sugar diet since Christmas, which isn't bad, but I seem to have hit a plateau. Annoying. But I feel so much better; loads of energy, less achey joints etc, no migraine, no IBS! I could see another ab this morning too, so I know they're in there somewhere!

I have now stopped taking the pills because they forgot to give me some in my last prescription renewal and I couldn't be arsed to go and ask for more. Been off them just over a week now (I was only on a ridiculously low dose anyway tbh; 0.5mg a day) and haven't had any migrainey feels... apart from one twinge of pain that lasted about 3 seconds, like, the DAY I stopped taking them, so that could've just been a... thing. So yeah, fingers crossed. I think most of the cure was me keeping my neck and shoulders relaxed though. I didn't realise how tense I was until I had physio last March, and I wonder if doing the daily stretches and massages is what has stopped the migraines. Now... maybe I might be able to come off the anti-depressants?! That'd be pretty awesome.

Everything else is coooool... one day I'm going to write a diary of our gigs, because we have some flipping epic adventures but for some reason writing about them seems like a chore right now... but I will do it! It's weird, I'll come in here and moan about my health and boring things like my weight problems but the really good things I do in my life just get left out! I never did write properly about America last year, or Berlin, or Leipzig, or my sister's 30th birthday meal last week which was delicious and hilarious. Maybe it's because I know I'll remember those occasions so don't feel the need to write about them. Hehe.

My next door neighbours keep shagging. STOP IT.

Oh, life.

Nov. 18th, 2012 02:49 pm
gemsybobsy: (muse)
when darkness falls
and surrrroooooooooooooooooounds yoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

I'm going through my whole journal and ALL THE PICTURES AND EVERYTHING have disappeared. So annoying! I should back it up more often. I've been reminiscing about old times (especially Musey times, because I'm going through another phase, argh), and I've noticed all the video links have moved and the pics (i.e. lolz) have GONE. It's going to take so much updating. I might get it put into a book. I was going to do that when I was 30. But now I'm 31. Whyyy. Maybe I'll do it when I'm 40? By then I'll be completely grey and I've have no teeth left. Dreams Divide will be either still plugging away, or it'll all go wrong and we'll be sobbing into our pints down the pub. I fully expect to still be broke as fuck and maybe have a drink problem by then. That'll be most interesting.

That's odd; I thought my paid account had run out. But this new layout is letting me choose any of my userpics? Hmmm.

Argh I'm SO BORED. I'm doing so many things though - I've got that weird feeling again, verging on brainfail... like nothing is enough to satisfy my stupid attention span. Today for example I walked to Waitrose and back, boiled some eggs and cleaned my kitchen because last night I splurged a whole tetrapak of chopped tomatoes all over the kitchen - it was hilarious (not on purpose, though.)

Might go and make my 30th cup of coffee of the day...

Grrr.

Aug. 29th, 2011 12:38 pm
gemsybobsy: (choccy)
Aaand I had a massive cryingfest over the stupid internet, and decided to take a break from the board. I came back over here to check my friends page... only to find another person has removed from their friends list. Brilliant. My poor ego. Trying not to take it personally. I'm going to read some stories. Yay, escapism.
gemsybobsy: (bhuman)
I dunno, you work your arse off and have a completely shit start to the year, have a bit of fun to compensate, inadvertently make one (or three) tiny mistakes or take - dog forbid - over three minutes(!) to get back to somebody's text and people react like you've been punching kittens or something. I decided to spend time on my own this weekend - I've been feeling sick and sorry for myself and tired and broke and I haven't had a proper holiday in years, so I've been chillin', going to the theatre, reading lots of stories and watching hours of Skins. Alright? And now I'm bored of chillin' and wanting to get going with raking in the ££s, so my brain's starting to make me feel (sort of) guilty for screwing some stuff up (I won't go into details - it's just money and stuff). Actually it's not really guilt at all; it's more of a feeling of indignation. Get off my case; I'm sure I wasn't the only person to get things confused over this Easter/wedding period.

Bored of all of this now and want to be a rock star. OUR ALBUM IS OUT TOMORROW! OMFG! You can get it here at 9am. ;)
gemsybobsy: (devy)
I woke up (too late) to find the spots on my cheek had 'filled up' again. The tummy ache I've had for 3 days was still nagging away. Didz had pooed in the lounge again. Someone in a Micra bumped me at the roundabout. I got stuck in traffic everywhere and was late for everything. The car reeks of petrol and needs to go to car hospital again. I need a new one but the money I had saved all went on car insurance and our silly pop music. I managed to cover the spots and to arrange my stupid mop of hair into something that resembles the hairstyle of a human, but then I looked up in the mirror and caught my reflection with herp-derp eyes looking in different directions, and I just started sobbing. I'm ugly, nearly thirty and I have no money; my stuff is all breaking, I've filled my life up with all sorts of meaningless stuff but I'm still just so BORED of EVERYTHING... I don't do anything worthwhile with my life/ability/creativity, I just bumble around being a cleaner and then I come home and eat, and I'll probably no friends left soon either because I've just publicly spat the dummy over the fact that I've just come home and looked at Facebook to find that my friend has royally stepped on my toes by announcing a party on the day she knew I wanted to get everyone together for a meal... and the banana and yoghurt loaf I'm baking won't cook in the sodding middle.

Not impressed. It's all hormonal of course; I do wish my body would stop being all female about the place.

Still, today when I was in the park with Max and Holly and Lucy, I noticed that the autumn leaves are really pretty. Then Jeremy Vine had a feature about them. A lady e-mailed to say that she was walking in the park and the colours made her cry, which made me cry, because things like that make me cry too. I often feel like I don't love or care about anything, but then I cry over the colour of leaves. What.

Yay, trees. )


Oh, and I'm doing NaNoWriMo. I think. I've always wanted to. I'll probably give up by tomorrow. Oh, and my friend and I just worked things out by text. Oh, and



the loaf came out alright in the end. That bit sliced off there? See it? Just there, steaming away? IN MY BELLY. :D

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