Tails from the Bark Side

I drive the Hundwagen rather a lot - and use 50 litres of unleaded per week. I try and make up for it in other ways - no plastic bags, I reuse the old plastic bags I end up with, compost heap, recycle. Waste water gets collected and chucked on the plants. We only have one wheelie bin full of normal rubbish per month. I shop at farm shops as I go past them when out with the dogs. I've stopped buying fucktons of packaged junk food. I buy clothes and things second hand. I hardly eat meat, and the dogs get the trotters 'n' bobs of animals from the butcher's; the bits nobody else wants (trying to source some local game for them, it's an ongoing mission!) I keep a list of all the things I need and wait until I REALLY need them or until the old ones break, and all the things I want go onto my Kaboodle wishlist to be e-mailed to family/friends around those times of the year when everyone insists on me telling them what I want them to buy me.

I've been after a circular/floaty skirt/dress for dancing, and I found one tonight for £4.50 on a website (I've had no joy in charity shops so far) and there's a scarf I quite like too (there's a similar one on my Kaboodle wishlist) but with the postage (£4.99 ffs) and everything else it seems like so much hassle. I feel so guilty ordering anything new. I keep thinking of all the resources that would be used to get this £4.50 item to me. I don't know where it's been made either. There's a really nice belt on there too that I added to my basket, but then realised it's made of leather. Ew, no. I've just gone off everything. I keep looking at websites, putting things I like into my cart, then closing the window and running away. I go shopping IRL, and there's just nothing I'm interested in. Don't need anything.

The objects I do have are so meaningless. So many clothes, jewellery, hair accessories, shoes and general crap I never wear. I'm always putting things in the spare room to put up for sale on thriftstoreuk. Hundreds of DVDs, CDs and books that are sitting in our empty room made of a thousand tons of plastic and trees, not doing anything for 99% of their lifetimes. Not worth any money, no sentimental value, yet I must've spent £thousands on them over the past 15 years. Such a waste. I think I am going to try and sell everything and use the money to fund my house on wheels. That's what you call downsizing! A cupboard/box of kitchen stuff, a very small wardrobe for clothes, shoes and accessories, one wash/cosmetics bag, my laptop/phone (full of music and movies), a box/cupboard full of nicknacks and memories and space for a handful of books borrowed from the the library and I will be perfectly happy. And I'll have lots of money for more fuel to pollute the poor planet with. Or I could buy a horse...