Tails from the Bark Side

...if I'm doing the right thing. I went drinking on Friday at my local-pub-to-be, all unexpectedly like, and had a great time. I went to Fallout last night and sat on the sofa in the front bar for most of the night, panicking about money, and I'm sitting here now panicking about money... which is silly, because I'm well on my way to scoring a few more customers in the area and I've been offered bar work, and there is some interest from another cleaning company who want a part-time housekeeper, dear, and...

I don't know. I'm wondering if running away from Southampton is really the best thing to be doing considering I've only just managed to get my life and brain on the happy train. After so many years of struggling with the devil's own depression, anxiety, social problems and the lowest of low self-esteem, I've managed to strip all of that away and uncover my true self; I'm confident, strong, and happy to be myself wherever I go. So should I risk that by changing everything again? Why do I always get bored when things are going along nicely, and want to stir things up? And why move towns, when new people are all terrifying and/or a potential bell end? I'm confident now, but I'm still wary of people. 'Bring it on! Give those fuckers a (metaphorical) taste of Teh Gemseh,' says my confidence. My shy, self-deprecating side, on the other hand - which still occasionally lurks beneath the confidence - is going, 'Oh but everyone will think you're weeeird, you won't be accepted, you can't just expect to make more friends by moving to another town, you won't like it, you're going to have to put yourself out there to have a good time and you're too lame...'

Doubting doubts, plz to be off. I love my new house. I still can't bring myself to tell you guys about it though, or show anyone the pictures of it. But I will! My application's at the referencing stage, and should find out this week if it's successful. I was told that it should all be fine, and the estate agent asked me if I wanted to meet the landlady on Wednesday, which is awesome. So they obviously don't foresee a problem. Still pooing bricks though.

I went for another job interview at a vet's surgery. It was one of those really casual interviews where they talk about the job rather than me. The job is for Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays, just 15 hours a week, and it looks quite nice - basically combining all my office, selling, public, animal and computer skills in one job. Awesome. I'd be able to carry on with Mutts & Mops, and more importantly I can quit cleaning the school at last! Business has really taken off again. Blue came back. People are asking me to clean their houses. The sudden cash in my pocket has really motivated me to work at the business for a bit longer. Seeing as every time I go to an interview I'm made to feel like an idiot. Maybe I should prove every one of them wrong and make this business THE BEST. And expand and employ loads of people and be a mega boss. So in a way I kinda hope I don't get the vet job. Haha. If I don't get it, I think I'll quit the school job anyway. It's making me cry. It's too far away and I can't afford the fuel.

Oooh, I dunno if I've shown you the new Hundwagen!



It's great, apart from munching fuel the way I munch biscuits.

Other things: I've been going out quite a bit. Woah. A couple of crazy Saturdays (last week Panic Cell and the Dinge, this week Industrial Fallout - my new favourite bleepy-goff night) and I had an unexpected night out in the Station pub with T and Dan after my interview on Thursday. Brilliant. I have decided to go out more. We're still decorating our house. Lady Gaga is amazing. I have an iPhone (I love upgrade time) and it pwns everything else in life. I'm planning and making munchables for everyone for Christmas this year. Dog training isn't going too well, haha. Mostly because I'm always out and they're at home. Which sucks. I've lost all interest in writing on the internet. Everything I have to say is normally said with a photo and a Tweet from the ol' iPhone. Which isn't much really. Laziness - there's an app for that! I might go back upstairs and watch Monty Python. See you next month!