Maybe it'll help to write it down, Idk.
Nov. 30th, 2010 01:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gemsybobsyI just can't switch off. So ANNOYING. I never get to sleep each night until I'm completely physically PWNED (so like, 4am) then I'm awake every 3-4 hours, tossing and turning and having completely BENDY dreams. It's not like I'm even thinking of anything in particular, it's just stuff. STUFF STUFF. Like, I'm thinking of my shopping list in my sleep and wake myself up giving myself mental notes about tomorrow's work plans. Or like, 'Oh btw Gemsy, before you drive off to so-and-so's gaff remember to top up the water'. Boring stuff. It's ridiculous.
This and my stupid physical symptoms are pretty much constant and normal, but sometimes it just builds up a little bit too much and then it completely bends up my brain and then bad times happen so I need to stoppit. Nippit in the bud. So for the last... ages, I've been staying in a lot, hiding from this society thing people keep on about, staying in mah bubble and indulging my personal pleasures as it were... , but I'm still like FLEAAARGH. Meditation, or something, is what I need to do. I really do not want to go back into another period of downery, thanks. My doctor keeps throwing relaxy tablets at me but none of them do fuckity all. It seems to just be the way I am. I don't feel particularly unhappy, or anything. Just a bit too... restless. I'll occasionally feel the other extreme though... like, nothing seems worth doing, but I feel like I should make an effort, but I can't make the effort, and I get frustrated because I can't make the effort...
LMAO iTunes just belted my lugs with some pretty hardcore d&b and my brain went WOAHYEAH. I clearly need some more phat beats in my life.
I feel like I need a passion, or something. Which is totally ridiculous because I have THOUSANDS of things I love doing and I'm always busy. But there isn't really anything that really keeps my attention. Nothing is enough! I need something to get really stuck into that takes up ALL my time.
This and my stupid physical symptoms are pretty much constant and normal, but sometimes it just builds up a little bit too much and then it completely bends up my brain and then bad times happen so I need to stoppit. Nippit in the bud. So for the last... ages, I've been staying in a lot, hiding from this society thing people keep on about, staying in mah bubble and indulging my personal pleasures as it were... , but I'm still like FLEAAARGH. Meditation, or something, is what I need to do. I really do not want to go back into another period of downery, thanks. My doctor keeps throwing relaxy tablets at me but none of them do fuckity all. It seems to just be the way I am. I don't feel particularly unhappy, or anything. Just a bit too... restless. I'll occasionally feel the other extreme though... like, nothing seems worth doing, but I feel like I should make an effort, but I can't make the effort, and I get frustrated because I can't make the effort...
LMAO iTunes just belted my lugs with some pretty hardcore d&b and my brain went WOAHYEAH. I clearly need some more phat beats in my life.
I feel like I need a passion, or something. Which is totally ridiculous because I have THOUSANDS of things I love doing and I'm always busy. But there isn't really anything that really keeps my attention. Nothing is enough! I need something to get really stuck into that takes up ALL my time.
