12 Tips for Ignorant Office Workers (From your Friendly Evening Cleaner)

[gemsybobsy]

1. When you put paper in the bin, please scrunch it up instead of folding it. When emptying bins there is nothing more annoying than sandwich bits flying down an inter-bin 'slide' created by a sheet of paper and ending up down our tops, in our faces or generally somewhere else that involves picking the stuff up off the floor and putting it in the sack.

2. Better still, put paper in the recycling bin your employers have gone to the effort to provide you with.

3. Please also scrunch up your used Post-It notes. We have lots to be getting on with and it's very time-consuming peeling millions of these poxy things off of bin liners.

4. You see those little white plastic brushes situated in neat little holders, right next to every toilet? Consider using them.

5. When a cleaner is using a vacuum cleaner, it's considered impolite to stand on the cable.

6. When a cleaner is obviously about to enter/leave a room, it is only considerate to move somewhere other than right in front of the door to have your conversation with a colleague.

7. We appreciate being spoken to, even if it's just a 'hello' or anything, anything about stuff other than the dust on your desk/the fact that you are disappointed that we occasionally move your footrest.

8. We judge how unhealthy and lazy you must be by the state of your desk, remnants of food in your bin and the crumbs under your desk. Your wife doesn't know you throw away your pasta salad and have a McDonald's for lunch every day, but we do.

9. We secretly like the unhealthy people because at least the crumbs give us something visible to hoover, making our jobs feel more worthwhile. Crisp packets and fizzy drink cans also slide from the bin to the sack with minimum fuss. Healthy people leave herbal teabags and bits of fruit in the bin, which means we have to change the pesky liners. Grrr.

10. We know you think you might be above cleaning up after yourself. Maybe you think, "That's what the cleaners are paid for." Maybe you think, "There's a hundred people in this building and nobody will know it was me!" Think again. We know it's you, and we bitch about you. If we don't know who it is with the disgusting toilet habits/fishy fanny/habit of leaving fluids in the urinal, we simply assume that all of you are disgusting, lazy, selfish, ignorant, disgusting, disgusting pigs.

11. You are not better than us. You work in a call centre. We would love to shout this in your faces, but we're scared you'll throw your university degrees at us.

12. When you leave sweets on the desk, we steal them and lick them and put them back.

Comments

[mynamegotstolen.livejournal.com]

<3

I lol'd. dunno how you cope, man.

[thebarkside.livejournal.com]

I nearly screamed today. LOTS.

[mynamegotstolen.livejournal.com]

I don't blame you

[(Anonymous)]

"fishy fanny"!?

[thebarkside.livejournal.com]

I haven't experienced... the fishiness... :/ personally, but some of the ladies... y'know. Have. Haha. People are so mean.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_pyromancer_/]

The cleaning staff once put a little sign up in the toilets at Sheffield Midland Railway Station saying "The toilet brushes are for the use of passengers as well as staff."

To which some wag had added, "but it's so prickly!"

:-)

[thebarkside.livejournal.com]

Haha, that's a great sign. The funny thing is about this place - there actually are some 'humorous' signs up on the back of the cubicle doors about using toilet brushes, but people still can't bring themselves to have a go at using one.

[bucjo.livejournal.com]

Fuck I wish people would make the effort to put paper in the fucking recycling bin. The amount of paper we wasted as my last job was unbelievable.

When I worked in a call centre I used to always say hi to the cleaners when I was working nights. Was funny I was talking to this guy and getting a bit annoyed and the cleaner was vacuuming around my desk and accidentally pulled the computer cord out so the call cut off. Thanks!

Call centres are full of wankers, I don't want to work in one ever again (please England).

[oh-blee.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I was a paper folder in my last job. I did recycle what I could, though, And I didn't always scrunch my post its. I will if I ever work in an office again though! I did always chat to the cleaners though. They're just people doing a fucking job like we are, and it annoys me when people are snobby about it.

[leptismagna.livejournal.com]

I hate it when people here do the N°10, we have 2 toilets,ladies and men's rooms, you can imagine the state of the latter.Last week, I cleaned the bog myself because some wanker( one of the trainees) left some shit on it, I felt ashamed that the woman would come later and find it, why do I feel ashamed? I don't know lol I just do!

Oh and saying hello and how are you? is it really too much effort to be polite? fuck them Gemsy, you do a great job <3

[dreamyourealive.livejournal.com]

Dudeee one thing I have learnt from office work is that the CLEANER KNOWS EVERYTHING and people are so lazy and ignorant stat.

[eremite.livejournal.com]

Aye, cleaning staff are not there to sort out the shitty messes of lazy arseholes - literally, in cases like No4.

Colleagues looks askance at me when I dust my desk.

Rock on, Gemsy. I think that the people who clean my office do a bang-up job and how they manage to do it without throwing utter wobblies at certain staff is beyond me.

[hellmutt.livejournal.com]

I love this. I've always made a point of smiling and mumbling "hello" to our cleaning staff, even the woman with the unfortunately sour face, because hey, human beings - and ones with far better knowledge of the inner secrets of my building than I have. Can't hurt to be at least civil to them.

And my desk's an untidy tip full of papers and books, but I do clean it. I mean, we have antiseptic wipes in the office since the oink flu scare broke, why not use them?

Oh my dog and people who don't fold post-its sticky-side inwards or wrap chewing gum in a bit of scrap tissue paper before binning them, ARE THEY EVEN SAPIENT?

I'd never heard the scrunch-paper-to-stop-it-sliding thing before. I'll have to remember that. But then again I use the recycle bin, or the "confidential" recycle bin, for anything paper or card. (I have personally seen the cleaners tipping both of these into the same paper collection.) ;D

[rhymeswithbooze.livejournal.com]

OMG did you really say "fishy fanny"? HAHAHHAHAAROFLMAO! Leave it up to Gemsy to have me stifling howling laughter at 4 in the morning!