Dave.

[gemsybobsy]

Anna's dad died last week. Total shock. He was only in his late fifties. I was round at maxnot and Aino's lovely new flat about to eat some risotto of win, when Anna texted me to say he'd had a heart attack. I got back home... and yeah, it's been awful and surreal. I dunno. It's hard, being supportive. I want everyone to be happy, and I want to fix things. It scares me, being there for someone but not being able to fix anything for them. I'm either wrapped up in my own woe, or I don't feel anything at all and don't know what to say, haha. It's odd, it's like, I can imagine how Anna feels; she's lost both her parents now, and the thought of it threatens to break my heart. But, I can't physically get upset about anything. It was the same New Year's Eve; everyone was drunk and crying and being emotional, and I just laughed at everyone. So unlike me. I think it's the drugs :)

I think I'm doing a good job though. I've just been making sure she's not on her own for too long, I make sure I'm about when Jon's at work, and... yeah, all I can do is be there I guess. I've pretty much just acted normally. She's acting normally too, really. A couple of tearful moments, but she's being brave; I'll give her a huge squidge and she'll go straight back into her usual upbeat-joking-and-uber-functioning mode. She said today that she feels weird because she can't seem to get upset about it either. But she's getting upset about silly things, like cars. I think it'll sink in for both of us. It's the funeral on Thursday.

Anna's dad was a bearded wonder. My favourite memory of him is from years ago at a big Forest barbecue, and we were looking for him everywhere, only to find him in his tent getting absolutely caned. He shouted at us to shut the flap 'cause we were letting the smoke out of his hotbox.

Comments

[meathiel]

Sorry to hear about your friend's dad ... :-(

[thebarkside.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your comment hun, sorry I didn't reply at the time (I fail!)
x

[meathiel]

Don't worry ... I fail at commenting! :-(

[smurf-pop.livejournal.com]

Poor Anna :( I was the same with both my dad and grandma - I felt like I should have been crying all the time and unable to do anything, but apart from crying while at the hospital and at the funeral, I just sort of carried on. Everyone reacts differently, so she shouldn't feel weird about it. It might suddenly hit her at some point, but it might not. Best wishes to her <3

[thebarkside.livejournal.com]

Thanks hun. xxxx
(Late-ass reply, sorryyy, I will sort my life out one day!)

[forgiveninasong.livejournal.com]

I didn't cry about my Nanna for weeks. Literally. It was about 2 months before I had a massive big cry. I just couldn't register that she was gone. And then it hit me again once I got back from Germany and was in Oxford again. Oxford was inexplicably linked with my Nanna, and she wasn't there, and the grief came back all over again.

You never get over it, and you never stop grieving. All you can do as a friend is be there and just...you don't have to say anything. Just hold her when she cries and be a friend.

xxxx

[thebarkside.livejournal.com]

Yeah I don't know how anybody copes with this shiz. Thanks bb. xxxxxxxx

(Sorry about the late replyyyyyyy, I LYF.)