gemsybobsy | Snow slo-mo mofo emo day. (Reply)

Snowed in with the white stuff and snowed under with the blues (groan). Passionate e-speeches all over the show today. Forums, fandoms, e-mails to friends and whatever else has popped up on my screen. Talking, talking, talking. Nothing too taxing, nothing much to think about... just drifting along and providing ridiculous ramblings about things that seem to really matter to me in the moment... but five seconds later I'm onto something else. Distractedly clicking between the same four websites. On Saturday night I found myself listening to music, checking out a YouTube video, reading Doctor Faustus and trying on my new boots all at the same time. Nothing's holding my attention. Too long being cooped up indoors, I think. I was in here from Friday lunchtime till Monday morning. Hibernating. Thinking too much. Wandering thoughts of fail; dark thoughts that keep me awake. I haven't had more than about five hours' sleep each night. It's a pain in the arse - I can feel myself getting more anxious, physically, and... oh, I dunno, just too thinky.

I'm leaving the cleaning job at the school at the end of the week (woohoo!) I've missed two nights this week because of the white stuff. I'm going to be finding myself very short of cash quite soon. I need to get out there and start advertising, but I can't find any motivation. Brain is hyper, body is hypo. I can feel it all coming back and I need to knock it on the head right now.