Yes, I've had a great weekend, thanks. You can punish me now.

HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE! *groan*

Me (quite cheerful): Morning!
Jean: Gemma, Laurence just phoned; she said you need to send the Red Flag Report, and she says you always forget and she has to ring you every we...
Me: *already on it* Good morning to you too... Shane, Red Flag. Any figures to go on?
Shane: Ask Paul.
Me (on phone): Paul, I need the Next figures for the Red Flag.
Paul: Ask Shane.
Me: Shane said ask you.
Paul: Put me through to him.
Shane: Check on Louise's e-mails.
Me: Louise's computer has no monitor at this time. Please try again.
Shane: Can't you check her e-mails on the server?
Me: No.
Shane: Why not?

Me: Thank Christ there's cake.
Me: *eats cake*

It continues:

Jean: Have you done it yet? Laurence said you ALWAYS FORGET, and she has to phone you every week.
Me: Well, I can only do it if people give me the DAMN FIGURES, and y'know, if I'm not ON HOLIDAY.
Jean: Well, who else can do it when you're not here?
Me: Shane or Louise...
Jean: Well, Louise doesn't do it anymore... I would try and do it myself, but... *continues to mumble as walks away*
Me: *mumbles* Who gives two short shiny sharp shites.

Shane: I was just looking for your little notice letter so I could rip it up.
Me: *sobs inside*

I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry.