gemsybobsy: (bhuman)
[personal profile] gemsybobsy
"So glad I put dinner in the slow cooker today. Aaaaaaaaaaargh my life. I seem to say 'I'm having a bit of a nightmare day today' every single day. 'Having a crazy week' every week. Then I say to myself, 'Oh it'll be easier when I've moved to Southampton/got my car back/got less evening dogsitting/less dogs/less extra cleaning...' aaaaaaaand it never gets easier and i dunno what to dooooooooooOOOO"

"Even Didz doesn't wanna get up today. He is still upside down"

"Ooh ooh, and I've got a new favourite garden centre! such a young fogey"

"Horrible day was chased away by tea and tap dancing at UNIT6 Rehearsal Rooms! lovely lovely. Now for some quality chillin' time with a plate full of gingery chicken and kale."

"Lost a further 1lb this morning. it's amazing how quickly weight falls off when you stop binge-eating whole packets of things"

"My poor car is still having operations in car hospital"

"Did you notice Ten's first word was "Allons-y!" (which of course is French for "Let's go!") and his last line: "I don't want to go."
BRB crying into my Cup-a-Soup"

"Thinking about why people always say I 'look 19' or, 'I thought you were early 20s at the most!' or whatever... 'You don't look your age' has always been a bit of a theme for me. I used to get it when I was a child (my friends called me 'babyish' all through school even though I was always quite clever, intellectually... and I wasn't even that shy at school, in fact I used to be the bossy one) and when I was a teenager too, I got ID'd for fags and booze all the time. And everyone thought my sis was older than me, hehe. I never used to mind really, but now I'm wondering if that's why people (in general) don't tend to speak to me with respect. I know people in general are grumpy swines, but I think I'm quite insightful/empathetic and I tend to pick up what they're thinking. It's just an attitude I seem to attract. I don't get ID'd that often, but, then, I don't tend to buy fags or booze anymore; it's more the way people question me if I ask something intelligently, they spell things out to me as if I'm stupid, they're quick to assume if something's gone wrong for me it's because I've forgotten something fundamental or done something thick, they're surprised when I do something clever all by myself...
I could never do interviews and I've had to really play up the I'M COOL AND CONFIDENT act (i.e. I'm loud and in-your-face) because I've had those types of people actually say to me directly that they don't think I can cope with their dogs if I am just my naturally reserved self when I meet them for the first time. I'm not 'putting myself down' as my mum and nan always say, I'm just saying what I see, it's always fun to try to analyse things and doesn't upset me!... but I always thought it was because I look a bit thick, with my derpy eyes and all, and the fact that I'm not in posh office clothes or dressed up 'nicely' in any way (even when I did work in the office I could not dress like that, all done up in suits and boots and heels and handbags, I felt like a fraud - I was more for the smart-casual look!)
I just generally, continually get the impression from people that they think I can't possibly be an intelligent grown-up lady-shape. And maybe those things are the reasons why I don't look my age. I never learnt that air of confidence that most grown-ups have... I still have to work at it. It took me until my late twenties to get to know myself and even that I am worthy of being alive, at all, really (lol, self-esteem issues, lol, depression)
But I have all that confidence now. Like, I know I can organise things and people, piping up and taking the lead when I was definitely sure I was on the right mission (in my workplaces, walking the dogs [taking the lead hahaaaa], and so on), singing in silly pop videos, dancing around and making children giggle... And I guess people only see me and make a snap judgement in one context of my life. I might seem like a totally different person when I'm out drinking, dancing and partying, being silly and giggly with friends, being nervous at interviews, in a quiet, moody mood (sometimes I feel so schizoid I go a bit monotone tbh) or generally hiding behind my hair and being shy... of course everyone has different moods in different settings like that, but I dunno, there's something about me that always makes people think I'm young and inexperienced in ALL of those situations.
When I've been out dancing, and on top of the world, I've had people ask me if I'm alright (because I look... what... simple? Need looking after?), or they ask me something to try and make me look as stupid as I must surely be - "I see you're enthusiastic about the fact that the DJ is playing Tool, there? In that case, what was the name of the second track from their 1995 album, and what, pray, was the name of said album? Just to catch you out, look, because you're a bit thick-looking and/or you have breasts?" People have generally reminded me that I'm NOT flawless and invincible when I've been at my most confident, dancing to favourite songs... I've had massive rows about it, people trying to bring me down during those moments does NOT go well. On the other hand I've had people say, 'OH MY GOD' to me when I've come off the dancefloor at those times, because, of course, OMG, they don't expect those Moves(tm) to come from such a quiet awkward wonky-eyed Thicko McThickybird.
This is going on a bit.
Anyway. Tl;DR:
I think I have the body of a grown-up woman but the mind of a... I dunno. And then I look at my general silly persona and the things I say/post on the internet. EL OH EL. I can definitely see why people think I'm younger than I am. I like to think, though, that I am firmly in the 'endearingly childlike' camp, as opposed to 'annoyingly childish'."

"Aw, my ex-landlady's emailed to apologise for the house being so cold. She's moved back in then!"

"RIGHT.I'm going offline *cheer heard echoing across the universe* until it comes on the iPlayer. PLEASE do not be too long BBC. PLEASE.
They've just stopped dead on 19:50...

"Geoff and Katy thanks SO much for lending me My Dog Skip.
crying all over the place
seriously. Katy and Geoff. still crying. just fondling didz's ears and sobbing.
damn yooooooooooooooooou"

"'All friendship is deferred bereavement.' thanks for that cheery aside, Steven Moffat. You have a happy day, now"

"be me
go to busy tesco express at 'rush hour'
try to buy a twirl and £50 gas on stupid bloody gas card
Me: Could I have £50 on there, please? <-smile is important
Him: Right. [Tries card in machine, sighs, hands my card back] 'Yep. ('Yep.' - said as if he was thinking, 'Thought as much' - as if he expected this... as if it happens aaall the time...) Your card can only take £49'
Me: [handing card back, confusedly] 'Okaaay, £49 will do?!'
Me: ...
Him: I'll try again in a minute. [Snatches up my Twirl and scans it, then stroppily snatches up my gas card again] It's saying SCAN THE CARD. HOw can I scan it when there's no...? [He tries again and it works.] There you go. Receipt? (still no smile or any acknowledgement of me, a smiling, patient human being, standing in front of him)
Me: Yes please?
Him: [massive sigh as he waits for it to print] There you go.
I wish I'd said, 'sorry to be an inconvenience' as I walked out"

"Spanner in the works 1: gas ran out (Monday)
Spanner 2: near death experience (Monday)
Spanners 3-1249: (all Tuesday) Car broke some time between 1-3pm.
Realised it was broke 3pm.
Man came out and got it running by 5pm, said 'you need to take it to the garage now as you'll end up stuck at home tomorrow'.
Drove to garage as poor Uncle Pete was closing at nearly 6pm (battery charged up by then, started fine)
Left car with Pete, walked off to find way home.
stuck in Blackfield
Two number 9 buses went past me
realised I had no cash anyway
I should also mention that Didz was with me
also that it is only 1 degree outside.
Eventually got Grandad to pick us up
Tea at Nan & Grandad's
My other Uncle Pete gave us a lift to Anna's
Now have Anna's posh-ass new shiny purring motor
plus stinky beard hugs
(tilly + chair cush + beard hugs not spanners)
(also uncle petes are amazing)"

"Age I was given: 21
Where I lived: Hythe, Southampton
What I drove: I didn't, but I had an old vw polo that was leaky
What I did: Worked at GSF, played bass in Brother Earth, went to gigs
Who had my heart: muse
Age now: 32
Where I live: Shitterne, Southampton
What I drive: corsa van, also leaky
What I do: walk dogs, clean houses, dancing and being a pop star
Who has my heart: didz"

"Lying in bed, roll over to get comfy, didz's nose made contact with my eyeball. I'm gonna get dogeracts"

"Band I was given: Papa Roach (thanks Jeannie)
Do I like them?: no
Seen them live? no
Favourite song: no"

"The accidental caps made me lol

"Well, figured out my problem. flat hasn't felt like home yet becuase i haven't walked up to the front door under the influence of 3 pints yet. lololololooooloooololol"

"Watching The Red Shoes. All the dancers have fuller figures than they do these days, they have slightly wobbly thighs when they ronds de jambe en l'air, love it"

"I've had a fantastic Christmas! Thank you all so much, lovely presents, amazing food and 'Davison/McNulty/Lowe/Page Never Mind the Buzzcocks!' 100 house points to us all! Geoff Davison Nikki McNulty Graeme McNulty Gemsy Davison Lee Davison Adrienne Page xx — at The Greyhound Wilton"

"10 albums that have stayed with me through the years:

1. Origin of Symmetry - Muse
2. The Holy Bible - Manic Street Preachers
3. Ænima - Tool
4. Euphoria Morning - Chris Cornell
5. Mer de Noms - A Perfect Circle (or their second one, can never decide which I prefer!)
6. Man Who Sold the World - Bozzaaaaaaaaaaaa
7. Songs of Faith and Devotion - Depeche Mode
8. Terria - Devin Townsend
9. Songs for the Deaf - Queens of the Stone Age
10. I don't know"

"48.8 mph on Dec 23
^ highest gust speed in Southampton last night. That storm in October that we were all warned about only got to 36mph.
The trees were enjoying a good mosh"

"I think Captain Obvious has been writing the news again. Last week a bomb in Belfast 'could have killed someone', this week a baby who ingested heroin was an incident that 'could have been prevented'"

"I fink the newfs are excited about Father Christmas coming. Full of naughty beans"

"2014 ideas forming:
- 3st. Be gone.
- Therapy. Work on emobrains.
- More pubs. Get out more.
- More music. More dancing. More gigs.
- Take time off to relax, be more assertive with work in order to get it.
- Have two weeks off in a row.
- And yet... make dents in debts..."

"Right that is it, all the Christmas cards I'm going to have time to do have been posted/sent out... so if you don't get one before Christmas Day, it's not because I don't love ya. This is your message:
"Dear you, Merry Christmas! Lots of love from gemgems and didz *kiss* *pawprint*""


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