Layballs

Mar. 12th, 2014 09:58 am
gemsybobsy: (walkies)
Something I've been trying to put into words for some time now:

Whenever I've described my unusual sexual orientation, all I ever get in response is 'you shouldn't label yourself'. Which, not wishing to sound snippy, is easy for them to say. It's also easy for me to not bleat on about my 'labels', and I don't, generally, until I receive one too many assumptions about who I am. Which is always based on what society expects (heterosexuality) from someone who looks like me (female). Especially when these assumptions come from exactly the people who would consider themselves these forward-thinking non-labelling people - well, it makes me glad I have quick, descriptive terms that I can use to say everything I want to say. I WILL label myself, thank you. Words aren't scary. Labels are just words. Labels are for cardboard boxes full of things of a specific type. But the labels aren't tattoos and boxes aren't locked-and-buried time capsules; being in a box with a label does not mean you forever have to restrict parts of yourself so you will always 'deserve' to stay there. Nothing's permanent. The whole point in the ease of a label is that they are easily ripped off and replaced, with the changeability of the human personality.

Love from Gemsy, Divider of Dreams, Mopper of Mutts, human, brachydachtyly-type D, female-shaped (non-gender), aromantic asexual, dog lover, dysthymic, sufferer of irritable body syndrome, massive goff

Oh, life.

Nov. 18th, 2012 02:49 pm
gemsybobsy: (muse)
when darkness falls
and surrrroooooooooooooooooounds yoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

I'm going through my whole journal and ALL THE PICTURES AND EVERYTHING have disappeared. So annoying! I should back it up more often. I've been reminiscing about old times (especially Musey times, because I'm going through another phase, argh), and I've noticed all the video links have moved and the pics (i.e. lolz) have GONE. It's going to take so much updating. I might get it put into a book. I was going to do that when I was 30. But now I'm 31. Whyyy. Maybe I'll do it when I'm 40? By then I'll be completely grey and I've have no teeth left. Dreams Divide will be either still plugging away, or it'll all go wrong and we'll be sobbing into our pints down the pub. I fully expect to still be broke as fuck and maybe have a drink problem by then. That'll be most interesting.

That's odd; I thought my paid account had run out. But this new layout is letting me choose any of my userpics? Hmmm.

Argh I'm SO BORED. I'm doing so many things though - I've got that weird feeling again, verging on brainfail... like nothing is enough to satisfy my stupid attention span. Today for example I walked to Waitrose and back, boiled some eggs and cleaned my kitchen because last night I splurged a whole tetrapak of chopped tomatoes all over the kitchen - it was hilarious (not on purpose, though.)

Might go and make my 30th cup of coffee of the day...
gemsybobsy: (floyd)
Just put my make-up on and cried it all off again. Fuuu-.

I am really struggling with money. This is nothing new (been living here for a year now and it's still great, I still really look forward to getting home even if I can never park, then have to walk half a mile from my car to my house, and it's freezing and drafty, and costing me more money than I can scrape together each month...) but it's getting a bit much. My rent 'n' bills are far too much money, and I have now gone over the limit on my credit card, because I keep doing stupid things like crashing my car and losing my keys and having health problems that require stupid expensive prescriptions and breaking my glasses and like, eating.

I can't think what to do to save/get more money apart from find another job, in the evenings or something, but then I already work my arse off, and then I think why spend so much money on a house if I'm never in it? I've had a look for places that are looking for housemates, and there are a couple that don't mind dogs. But I need a deposit. And I can't save one. And I'm earning too much to get a decent benefit. There's just nothing else I can do and I'm so confused and am thinking about it all the damn time. It's stressing me out.
gemsybobsy: (sherlock3)
So, I don't mix well at all with beta blockers. My lungs were all HELL NO. I've had to go on a course of steroids and I've got a new inhaler. PURPLE! Darnsarnit. I'm alright now, lung-wise, but my tummy is also... bad. Let's not go into that. Probably just too many DRUGZ. Dr D is going to ring me on Monday to talk about trying new stuff for the weird aura 'heady and floopy' feeling; which is still going on, all day every day argh argh fml boo, without the beta blockers. They worked wonderfully for the brainfail, in just two days. Typical. I generally still feel like crappityballs. Dr D says I need to take a week off, and I shouldn't do nuffink or owt. Like that's gonna happen. It's annoying being self-employed. Someone gimme some sick pay! Didz is really smelly tonight. :/
gemsybobsy: (eleven)
Heh, I had the migraine from hell last night. Felt like I was being stabbed in the side of the head and in the back of the eye. Shit was awful. I was talking rubbish! It got so bad I phoned the emergency services, and I think I have quite a high pain threshold in general/certainly don't over-react in any way over health matters. By the time a paramedic phoned me back I was talking okay and stuff, so I wasn't rushed in or anything; my sis came and got me and we went to an out-of-hours doctor where I was given codeine and some anti-sickness stuff because I felt so darn sick. Today I went to my regular GP and got stronger triptans, some propanololololololololol and a referral for a CT scan. How exciting!

Last

Aug. 7th, 2010 01:29 am
gemsybobsy: (eleven)
Last cigarette: Midnight, July 1st 2007.

Last kiss: I placed one on my sleeping day-old niece’s head.

Last good cry: When I looked at my niece for the first time.

Last library book checked out: I can't remember, I haven't borrowed from a library since I lived in Hythe I don't think! I just buy books these days, and borrow from friends.

Last movie seen: The Runaway Bride was on telly t'other night. I want to see Toy Story.

Last book read: Currently reading about 6. Nearly finished Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

Last cuss word uttered: Fuckin’ ell, I think I said. Probably about the flea on my arm.

Last beverage drank: Coffee, black ‘n’ strong… probably not wise at 1:18am, but oh well.

Last food consumed: A sugar-free gingerbread man.

Last phone call: From me to Katy, to see what’s going down in Hythe tomorrow night.

Last tv show watched: Supersize Vs Superskinny.

Last shoes worn: Brown slouchy boots.

Last cd played: The Burial of Thebes, a play.

Last item bought: A red bucket to contain my dirty cleaning cloths in the car.

Last downloaded: A picture of my dogs from my Photobucket account.

Last annoyance: A FLEA. ON MY ARM.

Last disappointment: Seeing that pesky flea, after I was so sure I’d beaten them!

Last soda drank: A swig of flat lemonade earlier today. Yuck.

Last thing handwritten: Shopping list, and some scrawled notes for my assignment at the bottom.

Last word spoken: “G’night!” to Anna.

Last sleep: Earlier this afternoon, I was cleaning all day so I came home and jumped in the shower, lay down on my bed to read and chill and ended up having an unexpected nap.

Last IM: Ah I don’t really bother with these any more. Only use MSN if Leeps is online. So yeah, it was prolly Leeps. Ages ago.

Last weird encounter: Steve and me went to the park for a walk the other night and ended up shooting the breeze for about three hours. I think we had a few revelations about the human race. Weird in a good way. Also a lady in Sainsbury's asked me if I 'danced'. I said, 'Sort of.' Which was a silly thing to say, because I dance all the damn time. She said it was obvious in the way I stand, that it was 'so feminine', which is 'nice'. Awww.

Last ice cream eaten: Crunchie ice lolly. Delicious.

Last amused: Supersize Vs Superskinny. A lady described ballet as ‘the hardest exercise I’ve ever done!’ I lol’d because my thighs are killing from the pliés I was doing to Combichrist in the lounge last night.

Last time wanting to die: I can’t say I’ve ever wanted to die. I’ve wanted to not exist, which is very different. The last time I wanted to not exist was very early Sunday morning, after a great party. Only for a brief moment though. Then I just cried and thought, ‘I better get my brain somewhere happy, sharpish.’ But couldn’t ‘cause I’d been drinking. Aaah. Always happens to me, this. Actually considering knocking the drinking on the head.

Last time in love: Oh that’s a bloody great can of worms. Let’s not.

Last time hugged: Oh man, I’ve been hugging a lot of family members this week, can’t remember who was last!

Last time scolded: When I scolded, or when I was scolded? I was scolded by Mum, about three weeks ago. Haha. I scolded Didz about half an hour ago for putting a flea on me.

Last chair sat in: This sofa? What a question.

Last lipstick used: MAC, Mellow Flame. That was a while ago too.

Last top worn: A pea-green vest top.

Current clothes: Brown t-shirt with the neck cut off, with a greenish logo saying ‘Ron Jon Surf Shop.’ Black leggings. Black net skirt. Socks and slippers. Black cardigan.

Current mood: Tired as hell, actually.

Current music: Radio One’s Essential Mix live from Ibiza. They've been playing Ibiza hits on the radio all day today. I’ve always wanted to go to Ibiza. But not with everyone else who goes to Ibiza.

Current taste: Coffee, a smidge of sugar-free gingerbread man after-taste.

Current hair: Clean, short, natural colour (dark brown), black bow... lame. In fact, I was bitching about my hair earlier and took a picture. It's boooring. I'm getting some mad stuff done to it in September though.



Current smell: House?

Current thing I should be doing: Assignment 6! Argh.

Current refreshment: Coffee.

Current worry: Assignment 6. My car, which is in the garage, having stuff done to it that my wallet will very much dislike.

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gemsybobsy

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